


Froskyfell Trash

by gcq, KenyaKetchup (temptedmelibea)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Collab, Crack Fic, F/M, Gen, Lots of bad words, Mashup, Multi, creeperblue, duncle fell, frosky, froskyfell, snowballs, what even is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-07-21 20:11:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7402195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gcq/pseuds/gcq, https://archiveofourown.org/users/temptedmelibea/pseuds/KenyaKetchup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Froskyfell is a thing that exists.</p><p>Basically the Sanses and Frisks from "Dalliance" by thebananahasspoken and "Creep" by KenyaKetchup, mashed together to create this nonsense. (THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL FICS! Which are both horrible. This is simply cute trash hell.)</p><p>Tumblr link: http://creepydalliance.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ketchup says: We take turns updating. Each update between 500-1,000 words. It's okay if what we write is poop. Aaaand...
> 
> Go! >_>

"You are _such a fucking asshole!_ "  
  
The sound of "Big Sis" Frisk's yelling reached Sans and Frisk before they even got to the door. Hearing it, Sans hesitated— Was he _really_ going to be leaving Frisk to _this_?  
  
Fourteen year-old Frisk grabbed his hand and squeezed it, seeming to sense her Sans' uncertainty. "It'll be fine!" she reassured him, before Underfell Sans' own yells reached them, leading Creep Sans to think otherwise. ("and _you're_ a bitch! don't make me come over there and treat you like one!")  
  
Frisk froze up. "Um..."  
  
"sweetie, are you sure this is what you want?" her Sans questioned her. Frisk had been looking forward to this sleepover for weeks, talking on the phone with Fell every day, but...

   
"Yeah. It'll be fun." She smiled, ever the optimist. Her Sans wasn't sure, but—  
  
Frisk knocked on the door. Fell opened the door almost instantly.  
  
"cupcake!" He grinned happily before pulling Frisk into his house with a little more force than necessary. Frisk suppressed a yelp. Her Sans felt 500% less sure of this. He eyed his Underfell counterpart uneasily, but still handed over his Frisk's backpack.

  
"you know how to take care of her, right?"  
  
"of fucking _course!_ " Fell said, happily ruffling Frisk's hair. "we're going to have so much fun, cutie. i got us a bunch of kids' movies, and the ice scream you like, and my frisk made dinner..."  
  
"I'm not your Frisk!" came the Dalliance Frisk voice from the inside. "That's it, I'm tired of your shit. I'm gonna..."   
  
"you _better_ not fucking poison that dinner!" Fell yelled back. "frosky's gonna be eating that, you—"   
  
The younger Frisk narrowed her eyes in confusion. "...Frosky?"  
  
"jus' a way to tell you apart from that complete bitch over there, cupcake," Fell shrugged.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"i'm not sure i want to do a trade," Sans said.  
  
Fell growled. "backing off? we had a deal. i can't keep an eye on my bitch while the lil' biscuit's here. she needs to stay with you."  
  
"Sans, you said it'd be fine, Big Sis would love to meet Papyrus..."  
  
"she's, uh..."  
  
The older Frisk came out of one of the rooms, holding a tattered backpack and a challenging expression. "I'm _what_ , you gross pervert?"  
  
Sans rolled his pupils. "entirely too different from my kid. ugh. let's just go."   
  
They said their goodbyes. The younger Frisk hugged her Sans. Fell attempted to kiss the older Frisk and got a slap. Fell slammed the door on Sans' face before he opened his mouth to give instructions. ("i told you i know how to take care of her! fuck off!" "don't fucking swear in front of her!" "fuck **off**!!")  
  
Suddenly, Fell and Frisk were left alone in complete silence.  
  
Frisk was the first to speak. "Um... So what should we do?"  
  
Underfell Sans gave her a victorious grin. "your sans told me you like to watch tv" He dug in his pocket...  
  
"i found the little mermaid at the dumpster today. wanna watch it?"  
  
Frisk frowned at him, slightly offended. "I'm _fourteen_."  
  
"i know! you're so tiny, princess!" Fell said cheerfully. His grin widened. He pinched Frisk's cheek. (His claws here too sharp. Frisk bled a little.) "we're gonna have a nice time."  
  
Frisk... Frisk started to think a sleepover with Fell may not have been the best idea.


	2. Snowballin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get slightly snowy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see this... snowballing out of control soon ;D

* * *

Sans stared longingly at the door closed solidly in his face, hand still extended towards the now hidden figure of his Frisk. He definitely didn’t like the thought of leaving her there all weekend, despite all of her assurances (his counterpart was hardly harmless, very apt to losing his temper and becoming violent), but he hadn’t been able to talk her out of the trip… and hadn’t managed to talk _himself_ out of bringing the older, meaner Frisk back with him.

“it’ll be great, man!” Fell had reassured him, slapping his back and throwing back another tumbler of whiskey. “i’ll get some time with my princess, without the bitch breathin’ down my neck, and after a weekend away, she’ll miss me ‘nough for me to get some action in! plus, frosky deserves a fun time outta the house. ya keep her cooped up there too much.”

He had been too drunk to argue at the time, seeing it as nothing but a great plan, but he was certainly regretting that decision now, turning on his heel and trudging after the long, angry strides of the older Frisk.

She waited for him at the corner of the shed beside the snow draped house, tapping her foot and fidgeting with her collar, and shot him a glare once he had dragged himself to her side.

“Well? Are we just gonna stand around or are we gonna go?” she snapped, folding her arms over her chest, and Sans, sighing to himself and glancing back over his shoulder (the warm, glowing windows of the house that mirrored his own looked more inviting than stepping through space), reached out to grasp her arm.

Frisk wasn’t having any of that, however, and slapped his hand away, sneering and pointing a finger in his surprised face.

“ _You_ don’t touch me. _Ever._ I will dust you in your sleep if you ever try that shit again. I’ll hold on to you,” she snarled, digging her extended hand into the sleeve of his jacket instead, and the corner of Sans’s socket twitched, his patience thinning.

Maybe he wasn’t giving Fell’s temper enough credence… it hadn’t even been five minutes and he wanted to push her into a lava pit. Was there actually a version of himself that _liked_ this bitch, much less love her so much as to pledge his soul to her?

Fell was an insane monster; he should just let Blue have her back, and good riddance.

Suppressing a retort with difficulty (like he would even _want_ to touch her, stars above), Sans rolled his magical gaze before turning between realities, pulling the both of them out of Underfell and into his own Underground.

He didn’t try to catch Frisk when she stumbled and fell into a snow poff as they reappeared outside his house, smirking down at her undignified slump.

Well, she _had_ said she didn’t want him to touch her.

“come on in, once you’re done there. make yourself at home… but try not to drip all over the carpet,” he snarked, chuckling to himself, and left her behind to follow on her own, letting himself into the house.

“hey pap, we’re back,” he called out to the kitchen, where he could hear pots and pans clanking together (he didn’t expect an answer, as Papyrus often lost himself in his cooking), before crossing to the couch, collapsing himself onto it and closing his sockets.

He missed the kid already… maybe he could arrange an “accidental” meeting sometime this weekend…

The front door opened and then slammed shut across the room, the slosh of footsteps in wet shoes and foul mouthed grumbling announcing the entrance of the older Frisk, and Sans grinned to himself, cracking a socket open so he could observe her discomfort, just in time to get a faceful of snow.

She’d thrown a fucking snowball at him.

Wiping a hand over his face and shaking away the excess slush, Sans glared back at the smugly smirking girl standing next to the front door, her hands on her hips and her ragged backpack set on the table beside his pet rock.

“And now we’re even,” she gloated victoriously, shaking a hank of dripping brown hair from her eyes, and Sans scoffed, narrowing his sockets and feeling, for the first time since he’d met the cantankerous bitch, that there was more than bald hatred in her.

So she liked to play games, did she? She’d asked for it.

“ooooh, no. we’ll be even when i say we are,” he countered, hands already scooping the snow settled on his lap back into a ball (he felt a competitive smile pulling at his mouth, and suppressed it as best he could; he wasn’t having fun, he was giving her what she deserved), but stopped when, in the wide doorway to the kitchen, his brother appeared, ruffled apron tied neatly around his hips and a sauce covered spoon held in a pointing, accusatory hand.

“DON’T YOU DARE, SANS. I SPENT ALL DAY GETTING THE HOUSE READY FOR THE NEW HUMAN, SO YOU BETTER NOT MESS IT UP!” the taller skeleton monster spat, attempting to look intimidating but only managing to look like he was squinting (Sans chuckled, within, always entertained by his brother’s antics), then turned to Frisk with an exasperated sigh.

“YOU WILL HAVE TO EXCUSE MY BROTHER’S RUDENESS, HUMAN. THANKFULLY, I HAVE ALL THE MANNERS HE LACKS. WELCOME TO OUR HOME! I HOPE YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI… YOU WILL NEED TO IF WE ARE TO BE AS GOOD OF FRIENDS AS I HOPE WE WILL BE,” Papyrus expounded, and across the room, wearing a smile so exultant and wide that Sans couldn’t help but stare (he had never seen her so… so… happy), Frisk laughed euphorically, clutching her hands to her chest.

“I love spaghetti, Papyrus… and I know we are going to be the best of friends,” she assured him tearfully, a familiarity in her voice that spoke of years of acquaintance rather than mere moments.


	3. Chapter 3

_ We got to give a little love, have a little hope _

_Make this world a little better_

 

Frisk frowned at the television. 'The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea' wasn't exactly _bad_ , which perhaps was what she found the most disturbing. Beside her, an overenthusiastic Fell was grinning, holding her close to him and filling her lungs with the faint scent of bone, smoke and mustard. A strong feeling of familiarity surrounded her soul, stronger the closer they were, almost as if the feeling was emanating from him, and... This was nice, she had to admit: just sitting here watching tv with a Sans. And this _was_ her Sans, in a way, she told herself, despite this one's scary and rather pointy exterior. This was her Sans, just... different.

 

_Very_ different. And a bit intimidating. And very, _very_ misguided if he thought that Frisk was young enough to enjoy watching a straight-to-video Disney sequel instead of just normal television. But the choices she'd been given had been either this movie or 'Princess Barbie', so Frisk had been forced... She had been forced to pick the lesser of two evils, even though the lesser of two evils was turning out to be far more enjoyable than she wanted to admit (she was _fourteen_ , after all, not eight, and if her Sans ever found out she'd enjoyed watching a little kids' movie she'd never hear the end of his teasing).

 

The music had stopped when the door slammed open. Suddenly, Frisk's face was full of coat— Fell holding her against him rather protectively in a way that didn't exactly make her feel safe.

 

"SANS! IS THAT A DIFFERENT HUMAN!?" A familiar voice, booming and angry, reached her ears and startled her.

Was that voice... _Papyrus?_

 

"ARE YOU DEAF OR JUST STUPID!? I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING ANYMORE HUMANS OVER. YOU COULD ONLY KEEP THE ONE. WE'RE NOT RUNNING A HUMAN SANCTUARY, SANS!"

"bro, i fucking told ya about the swap. the bitch is gone for the weekend, this is my cutie, and you're scarin' her so back off." 

 

The thing that definitely wasn't Frisk's Papyrus didn't back off, and instead Frisk felt the gigantic and sharp claw of a taller skeleton yanking her off the couch and away from Fell.

 

Frisk's heart raced as— _gosh_ , she really couldn't believe this was a Papyrus—as the taller monster inspected her.

"SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE THE OTHER ONE. BUT... SMALLER."

Fell pulled her back to him, claw on her wrist, and held her there. "this is frosky."

"Frisk," Frisk corrected.

 

"'FROSKY', HUH?" Oh, Jesus Christ. 

 

There was a moment of tense silence as the other Papyrus looked Frisk up and down, assessing her. Fell's grip on her wrist tightened so much, Frisk was sure she was about to die in this timeline.

 

"ya done starin' her down or what?" Fell growled. "cupcake's not a threat."

 

"WHEN'S THE OTHER ONE COMING BACK?" 

"i told ya, end of the week," Fell told him, relaxing noticeably. Whatever fight had been about to start between them seemed to have passed. "then the princess leaves. but if we're lucky, we get her back some other weekend.

Papyrus scoffed. "IF WE'RE LUCKY, BOTH HUMANS WILL LEAVE FOR GOOD. I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, AM NOT IN THE ROYAL GUARD TO SHELTER HUMANS, SANS."

 

"this one's special," Fell told him, ruffling Frisk's hair affectionately for the third time that day. "ya gonna like her. you'll see."

 

"I'LL LIKE HER BEST IF SHE DOESN'T GET IN MY WAY," Papyrus snarled and left.

 

It took Frisk a long moment to notice the movie had ended. Unfortunately, Fell noticed too.

 

"ah, shit," he said, picking up the remote to Frisk's horror. "we missed part of tha movie. dun' worry, cutie. we'll watch it again."

 

_The sound of Queen Ariel singing a lullaby._

 

Fell pinching her cheek.

 

"look. you're as cute as that baby, cupcake," Fell told her, pointing at the screen with one of his sharp talons and once again wrapping his heavy arm around her affectionately.

 

"I'm _fourteen_ ," she reminded him.

 

Fell grinned and remained clueless, holding her close to him as the music played and the movie started. Again.

 

Frisk frowned. She had the nasty feeling the 'Princess Barbie' movie was up next, no matter what.

 

"that reminds me... ya know, i've been learning how ta knit," Fell told her. "almost done with a present for ya. don' really like how the other sans dresses ya, princess. you're too cute not to wear pink." 

"Um. I dress myself."

 

Fell just laughed. "you're so fuckin' adorable."

 

 

Frisk felt dread.


	4. Sergeant Whiskers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Herro ladies and gentleladies, it's gcq ~   
> Ok two things first off on this one.
> 
> First, my first time writing a fanfic.  
> Second, my first time writing such stuff in English. :v
> 
> Pro Kenya beta read and edited it for me, thank you. Anyway, have fun guys. ~

Time passed by and it was almost time for dinner. You welcomed it very much. It meant you could get at least a small break from all the Disney and Barbie movies Fell wanted to watch with you ...

It was just a few hours since you were with Fell but you already felt like it was a bad decision. Fell stood up from the couch "ok cupcake, i will go in the kitchen and make dinner!"

You looked at him with surprise. "You can cook? Wouldn't Papyrus be mad if you cook?" You know too well from the Papyrus you know how grumpy he can get when he's not allowed to cook ...

Fell's grin widened "haha of course i can, you're too cute cupcake," he started to pinch your cheeks again "i will make us the cutest dinner you can imagine! and don't worry about paps," he let go of your cheek and teleported himself into the kitchen.

You let out a small sigh and grabbed the remote as soon as he disappeared. The tv program wasn’t much better. You reached the comedy channel and despite the fact you actually hated the lame jokes you stopped there. Your Sans always loved watching these cheesy shows.

 

A few minutes passed when you suddenly heard something …

 

_Meowwww~_

You looked around, then to Fell in the kitchen. He didn’t seem to hear it. Probably because he was so busy making dinner.

 

_*scratch scratch*_

You looked upstairs. These sounds came from Papyrus room. Or more what you expected to be Papyrus room … Fells home almost had the same layout as your Sans's.

You hesitated for a moment. But you couldn’t hide a sort of excitement.

 

_Meowww~_

You sat up. And slowly walked to the stairs, making sure Fell wouldn’t notice.

In front of Papyrus door you stopped for a second. What if he gets mad when he sees you in his room? He didn’t seem to be a kind one like the Papyrus you know …

 

_Meow Meow~_

Well, it’s not like you were about to go inside his room, you told yourself. You just wanted to open the door to see where the noises came from.

You took a deep breath and opened the door.

 

_MEOW!~_

And oh my gosh, your thoughts were right. A kitten. A real kitten!

The cat in Papyrus' room looked at you with big blue eyes. She had long white fur and looked so fluffy.

You were so happy. Since you fallen down to the underground you hadn’t seen any cats. Sure there were other pet-like monsters, like the bunnies in Snowdin or the guardian dogs … But you never saw any cats.

 

The cat came closer to you, walking around your legs and starting to purr loud.

“Hey there, what are you doing here? Are you the cat from that scary Papyrus?“

_Meow ~_

You kneel down and pet her, she was so soft and fluffy. And you wondered … Maybe Papyrus wasn’t a bad monster. He has a cute kitten, how bad can he be?

The cat kept purring as you picked her up and hugged her tight. “You are so fluffy! Hehe“ Your Sans didn’t allow you to have any pets … You wish you could keep this one.

 

 

After some time of cuddling and petting you hold her in front of you “Sooo, what do we call you? What’s your name?“

_Meowwww~_

“Mhhh …“ You were thinking of a name, ignoring the fact it wasn’t even your cat.

“How about …“ And oh crap, the cheesy comedy show from earlier came in your mind … There were only cat puns in your mind now. You didn’t want to go on that level but you couldn’t help it. “Ts, whatever,-“ you mumbled “Your name be Sergeant Whiskers! Do you like it??“

_Meooow Meow!_

“Yey!“ And you cuddled her tight again.

 

 

Suddenly you heard Fell from the living room.

“FROSKY?! cupcake, where are you gone?? dinner is ready …“

You stood up and went a bit closer to the stairs. “I am here, Sans!“

He looked up to you and his smile faded immediately as he saw you holding Sergeant Whiskers.

“oh crap …“ he spit, panic on his face. He ran up the stairs to you.

“cupcake, what are you doing there?“ He tried to grab Sergeant Whiskers but you moved away slightly. “let me take the cat, ok?“

 

“No! Sergeant Whiskers is my friend now, I will hold him.“ The cat hissed at him as his hand was about to try to grab again after her.

Sans started to sweat more. “please, sweetie, let go of her …“

“Why?“ you pouted at him.

“my brother doesn't like if others are petting his cat … not even i am are allowed to pet it … so please, cupcake, let go of her, yes?“

You hold on tight to Sergeant Whiskers. For once you had a pet and you didn’t want to let go off it now. Mom had never let you have a pet. Your Sans had never let you have a pet. At least while this sleepover lasted you wanted to have a pet. You were determined.

“No!“

 

In the very same moment the door slammed open again. Papyrus was back home. His voice was loud in your ears “SANS! ARE YOU MAKING YOUR SHITTY FOOD AGAIN? I'VE TOLD YOU SO OFTEN THAT YOU WILL NEVER REACH THE SUPERB LEVEL OF MY COOKING, WHY DO YOU EVEN TRY-”

Fell tried to cover you and Sergeant Whiskers with his body but he failed, Papyrus already spotted you holding his cat. He rushed up the stairs and pushed Fell away “HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU HOLDING DOOMFANGER?! DO YOU WANT TO STEAL IT?!“

You looked in disbelief up to him “… Doomfanger?“ He couldn’t be serious to give the kitten that name.

“YES DOOMFANGER. _MY_ CAT _YOU_ ARE HOLDING RIGHT THERE. GIVE IT BACK!“ His face moved closer to you and your heart started to race.

“heh bro, it’s ok … frosky will get off of her, right? right cupcake??“ Fell tried to calm down his brother but just got pushed away. “SHUT UP SANS! YOU COULDN’T EVEN STOP HER FROM GETTING DOOMFANGER!“

When you saw that Papyrus try to reach out for the cat you turned away. You gathered all your courage and talked back. “No! Sergeant Whiskers is my friend now!” You looked in Papyrus' eye sockets and he really seemed surprised by your sudden determination. You smiled at him. “Hah … Don't worry, I won’t steal him, just- let me cuddle a bit with him while I am here.”

The surprise in Papyrus face didn’t fade away and – “PFT- WHATEVER!” was that a hint of a blush? He turned away and went to his room “BUT DOOMFANGER IS STILL MY CAT, KEEP THAT IN MIND, HUMAN!”

 

With a big smile on your face you went back to the living room and sat on the couch, still holding Sergeant Whiskers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gcq restarted this. I couldn't help myself.

Night finally came after what felt like forever, thank _stars_ for that. Sans wasn't sure if he could take any more of this bitchy version of Frisk and her attitude. It was like the older variant of his sweetheart was had decided to wage war against him, for some reason—making snide comments, aggravating Sans to no end.

 

If only she weren't that nice to his brother, so that he could hate her at least. And if only she weren't... _Frisk_.

 

His breath caught in his throat at the vivid memory of his Frisk. How was the kiddo doing? Was she having fun, like she'd insisted she would? His other self wasn't as... nice... as he should be. Although who was Sans kidding,

 

Sans was even worse.

 

The sharp sound of laughter from the other side of the living room and he snapped out of it. Right. The other Frisk was still here. Day One was almost over, thank _god_. And he didn't completely trust her—

 

Frisk caught him looking at her. She shot him a nasty look, like he'd just killed her. “Look, Paps. It's a P.O.S.”

 

A burst of anxiety. No, this fucking kid wouldn't—

 

“A WHAT?”

 

An awkward, tense silence as Frisk narrowed her eyes and then pointed behind him, towards the kitchen, and “...A Plate Of Spaghetti, inside the fridge. I have X-Ray vision.”

 

“WOWIE!!! THAT IS AMAZING!” And Sans letting out a deep breath.

 

He _really_ didn't like this Frisk.

 

 

Eventually, they started whispering. Frisk ended up dragging his brother away after shooting him a glare. They reemerged a few minutes later—Papyrus running to his room excitedly, Frisk walking towards _him_.

 

She stood just in front of where he sat and eyed him angrily, hand over hips as if daring him to fight her. "I'm going to sleep with Papyrus," she snottily informed him, and— _Hah_... _Excuse_ me?

 

Brow bone raised with an annoyed expression. Sans simply stated, "you won't fit."

 

He might as well have hit her.

 

All the color drained from her face. Suddenly she looked panicked. _What the...?_

 

“Yes I do! I—I am _not_ sleeping with you. You can't make me, _asshole_ , I already spoke with Pap—"

 

" _whoa_ there," Sans sat up, hands raised in an attempt to appease the angry human. "what... of fucking course you're not sleeping with me, i don't want to be dusted in my sleep. i was gonna make you take the couch."

 

She stopped mid-screaming. "...The couch?"

 

He looked at her.

 

She looked at him.

 

And he dumbly stated, “you're not my kid.”

 

 _Was_ she? No, no she wasn't. He'd do a better job taking care of his than _Fell_ had.

 

The older Frisk—the, _ugh_ , ' _adult_ '—kept staring at him. And it was like wheels started turning in Sans' head, and suddenly—

 

“the other me doesn't _force_ you to sleep with him, does he?”

 

She took a step back. “Um—”

 

“oh, shit,” Sans got up. He was starting to get a headache. Or angry. Or frightened. Or... He picked up his phone. _His kiddo_. _His kid_. “does he hurt you? f _uck—he's a fucking sans_ , _**of course he's fucking hurt you**_. fuck!!!”—phone ringing, starting to yell now at nobody in particular—“fuck! goddammit! i _told_ frisk—”

 

 

 

The sound of the phone ringing wouldn't let Fell sleep.

 

Fell Sans had been seething on his bed, pissed off at the world and at his _fucking brother_.

 

He'd _tried_ to keep the peace. He'd fucking _tried_. He'd done everything he could not to fight with Papyrus in front of the cupcake. He didn't want to scare her off, he really didn't, but now...

 

Now his brother had seen his temporary compliance as weakness. He'd dragged his princess away. And he was ruining his time with her, he was stealing her away using that _fucking cat_ and...

 

The little girl's damn phone wouldn't stop ringing. _Fuck!_ Where had she put it?

 

And to make matters worse, he missed _his_ Frisk.

 

It was late. Papyrus had ended up making pasta. And whenever he did, he could convince Frisk to—bargain with him—

 

A warm meal in exchange for her sleeping on his bed and _ugh_. That was really backfiring on him, now. Fell missed her so much. He'd never admit it.

 

He would rather cut off his own tongue than admit it.

 

But his bed felt cold and the fucking phone wouldn't stop ringing and when it did, _finally_ —

 

His fucking door opened and “i don't _fucking know_ where the phone is, papyrus!!!”

 

His cutie took in a sharp breath. It took Sans a split second to realize how badly he'd screwed up. And _fuck_ —he'd thought it was Paps. _Fuck_ —don't fucking screw this up. _Fuck_ —

 

Don't be scared. Don't be scared. “hey, cupcake.”

 

The girl had taken an instinctive step back. He fucking hated it—he was too sharp and too scary and too _ugh_. She'd want to go back to _her_ Sans. He'd fucking ruined it. _Shit_.

 

“Um—Sans? Papyrus is done showing me all of Sergeant Whiskers' attack features now.” She sounded unsure. She'd fucking leave, he just knew it—“Um.

 

“I'm used to sleeping with my Sans,” she told him. Sure. Fuck it. Fucking _leave_ , he'd get his bitch back. “Can I, um—I'm not scared of nightmares anymore or anything but can I sleep with you?”

 

Oh, _fuck_.

 

He took it back. He was fucked. Never leave, cupcake.

 

This kid was _adorable_.

 

“sure,” he found himself saying as he scooted over. He'd never been this close to a Frisk without her angrily demanding something out of it. “sure, princess. c'mere.”

 

When she came up to him and cuddled close it was like a happy thrum inside his chest. He felt warm. This was nice. He stupidly wondered if he could feel like this all the time if— _when_ he convinced his mate to have children.

 

He was such a fucking sucker for kids. “do ya want a bedtime story, cupcake?”

 

Maybe someday he could have one like this with Frisk.

 

 


	6. The Froskyfell Papyrus Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Kenya. I was chatting to gcq on Tumblr today and this was born. I had to write it.
> 
> Here you go.
> 
> (Full disclaimer: I actually have no idea what banana's Dalliance UF!Sans and UF!Paps are like but this is silly au fanfiction so hooray.)

RONALD WEASLEY HAD BEEN SELECTED PREFECT INSTEAD OF HARRY POTTER. HOLY SHIT. HARRY POTTER CLEARLY DESERVED PREFECT STATUS. HOW DARE THEY TAKE THAT FROM HIM? DUMBLEDORE, YOU WITHERED OLD BUFOON—WHAT SORT OF IDIOTIC, SENILE MALARKEY COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE THINKING NOW?

 

A grumbling noise of disgusted distaste left Papyrus' mouth, the tall skeleton flipping the page furiously enough to almost rip it. He was indignant. Completely outraged. He was... He was...

 

He was suddenly _very inopportunely_ distracted by the low rumbling coming from his older brother's chest. The sound of Sans' growing, growling purr of contentment becoming loud enough to be annoying.

 

“SANS,” Papyrus screamed, irritated at both Dumbledore and at his brother at once. “WILL YOU CEASE THAT RIDICULOUS NOISE. I AM TRYING TO READ A BOOK HERE.”

 

From across the living room, Sans gave Papyrus a nasty glare. The shorter skeleton snuck a glance at the Frisk currently sitting on his lap before surreptitiously flipping Papyrus off. Both Sans and the small human had been sitting on the couch and coloring for _hours,_ and while the occasional praise from Sans (“you're really good at mixing those colors, princess, wow”) and the laughter from Frisk had been irritating, they had up until now been mostly quiet and ignorable. Until now.

 

Now, Sans' incessant purring Papyrus, the GREAT and TERRIBLE, could not take. Papyrus had grown fond enough of the small human (not that he would ever admit it), but the concept of a contented Sans was ridiculous. He was getting soft. Weakness down here meant getting murdered. What an idiotic dumbass, did he actually want...

 

...hey, wait a moment.

 

“WAIT A MINUTE,” Papyrus shouted, setting his book aside after scratching the last page he had left with a single, menacing claw. “SANS, SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEAD BY NOW? I THOUGHT YOUR SOULMATE HAD LEFT YOU FOR THE PUDGIER SANS MONTHS AGO.”

 

And it was true. The older version of Frisk had left almost three months ago, in fact. Had spat on Sans' face and punched his ribs before leaving with a shorter, bluer Sans version. Papyrus remembered that day fondly. It had been the day he had finally gotten to tell Sans, “I TOLD YOU SO.” Certainly not the day he had felt true fear for the first time in decades. (Certainly not.)

 

His dumb brother looked at him with... dumbness. The idiotic Sans looked legitimately confused, a thick claw wrapped around the smaller Frisk as she continued to color with determined concentration. Finally, Sans acknowledged. “ya know what. i hadn't even noticed. huh. i guess you're right. wonder what the fuck happened.”

 

“SANS, I THOUGHT WE AGREED NOT TO USE FOUL LANGUAGE AROUND THE SMALL ONE,” Papyrus rebuked. “AND IT HAS BEEN MONTHS. YOU SHOULD BE STARTING TO FEEL... DEADER.”

 

“i've just been so busy with the cupcake, i haven't even had the time ta think of frisk.” Sans frowned. Then, slowly but surely, a smug smirk crept across his face, accentuating the idiotic skeleton's... idiocy. “ya think she's still into me, and tha's why i haven't died?”

 

It was now time for Papyrus to touch on a subject he didn't particularly like. “THE MORE PATHETIC, CRYING SANS OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE SAYS YOU AND THE SMALL HUMAN ARE ALSO SOULMATES.”

 

“...tha princess?” Sans frowned, taking a moment to look at the contented Frisk on his lap before furiously denying with a shake of his head. “don't be disgusting. cupcake's just a little kid. what sans are ya talking about?”

 

“THE ONE OUTSIDE. THE PUDGY ONE WITH THE TEARS WHO IS CONSTANTLY BEGGING THE SMALL HUMAN FOR FORGIVENESS.”

 

Sans' eye sockets widened. “ _fuck!_ that fucking pussy is still here? god fucking dammit.” Sans promptly covered Frisk's ears before shouting. “ **hey, you fucking dumbass! go back** _ **tha fuck**_ **home, i toldya my princess can stay here for as long as she likes!** ”

 

The muffled sound of the other Sans by the window, “open the fucking door and tell that to my face!”

 

“ **hell if i'll let you in, i'm not a fucking idiot!** ”

 

“fuck you!”

 

“ **fuck** **you** **!!!** ”

 

“SANS, PERHAPS WE SHOULD RETURN THE HUMAN.”

 

“don't be so fucking ridiculous,” Sans said angrily, waving Papyrus off as if pushing away the mere thought of returning Frisk. “i told my princess she can stay for as long as she likes, and i fucking mean it.”

 

The small human snapped out of her determined trance of concentration. “Sans? Are you guys fighting?”

 

“no, cupcake.” Sans gently moved a claw to push her hair off her face, fussing over the small human in a way that left Papyrus feeling strangely apprehensive. “go back ta your coloring. ya were doing so well, precious.”

 

“SANS, I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTO THIS HUMAN BUT THIS LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE THAT SICK TWILIGHT RENESMEE BULLSHIT.”

 

The sound of bone scrapping against the glass window and the creepier, weepier version of Sans begging again. “what is twilight? frisky, let me in—”

  
  
“...Is that Sans?”

 

“shhh, just tha wind,” Sans cooed, picking up a color and handing it to Frisk. “here, how 'bout some blue for the pretty sky?”

 

Frisk frowned. “This is indigo.”

 

“my little artist~ so fucking cute.”

 

Papyrus stood up from his chair. “I CAN'T TAKE THIS. I'M OPENING THE DOOR AND LETTING THE CREEPER TAKE HER BACK.”

 

“ **no, papyrus. don't you fucking dare.** ”

 

The muffled sound of victory, “fucking _finally!_ ”

 


End file.
